Why are Asian kids so good at math?

You Offend Me You Offend My Family’s post, Worst Childhood Punishment, made me laugh so hard I was crying and choking on my own spit. I have totally seen my friends’ folks, my aunts and uncles, and upset parents on the street pulling the same deal. “Shut voice! Go die! Kill yourself. USELESS. Suicide. You kill me! DIE!”

My grandpa used to take my cousins and I on walks to the park. He had us pick out tung dtew, or wicker sticks, to be used for beating us when we got in trouble. My cousins and I competited over who will get Grandpa's priase and approval for finding the best tung dtew. Even as a kid, I remember thinking that was pretty fucked up, but hell yeah I was still trying to win. I spent all afternoon picking out sticks instead of climbing around the playground. It may have been a sick game, but I was still determinded to win!

My parents were very forward thinking and didn’t hit me. They sheild me from my grandparent's hands. My older brothers were spanked, but by the time I came along they decided a gentle girl like me didn’t need any physical punishment. *see note

Where I did get it from was school in Hong Kong. Hand slaps by wooden ruler in from of 40 other students. Standing in the corner while pulling down on your own ear lopes while holding a sitting position over a phantom chair for an hour. Good times. Good times.

When I started school in the US, I was told but still didn’t believe this mythical school system that does not involve dehumanizing methods. During my first months in US schools, I constantly checked out the teachers’ desk to see what size ruler each teacher used. I was shocked the teachers had the gall to display their rulers so boldly in pen cups. Brandishing their hitting stick next to their pile of good job sticker. These teachers didn’t even bother to respectfully stow their weapon inside the desk drawers, away from plain sight. I was scared out of my mind by these ballsy tall white middle-aged ladies. Couple of years went by before I stop anticipating a hand slapping session for talking out of turn. Or being called to stand in front of the entire class while my teacher chastised me for getting a F- on a test. Yes, that was one of my Hong Kong teacher’s routine after every test. The student with the lowest grade got a loud special one-on-one heart to heart in front of the whole friggin’ class. Even with this kind of routine, I still didn’t study hard. I was one lazy mofo back then.

Now I see my daughter in elementary school, with every lesson in the form of a game. Math and science are taught with circle time songs -kumbayah style. Cute macaroni and cotton ball projects for their little minds to roam with. I’m happy my children can learn without the looming fear of physical abuse. But part of me feels like shouting “Fuck this shit! Back in my days…..we got slapped around, and we liked it!”

Do you still wonder how international students from Asia rock at math? There’s a reason. We were saving our little hinds with the quadratic equation. Mulitiplying out way out of a beating. I never complain about our (humane) US education system. Call it maladaptive preferences, but I just can't complain.

*note: My mom said she stopped corporal punishment after she threw a pair of scissors at my brother. He still has a six inch scar to proof it. Holy shit…..WTF, Mom?