Capris or Shorts?

A couple of years ago, I was at REI, the hearth of Northwest white liberals. I saw, no kidding, zip off hiking capri pants. I wish I can find a picture of it to show how ridicules they were. I am quite impartial to the capri style, so my opinion (as always) is very bias. I’m a short person and capri pants make my look squat as a pumpkin, a cute one, but still a pumpkin.

The idea is you wear these pants when you start out on a hike in the morning. They modestly cover just past your knees. Later in the heat of the afternoon, you can conveniently zip off the lower part to make them shorts that hit just ABOVE the knees. Ta-da, shorts for a warm afternoon! Wow, a whole four inches. Good thing you’ve got those freaking awesome $90 zip off Capri pants, worth every penny. Because damn girl, your knees were getting really hot in there! Those four inches of extra air flow can make or break your whole hike.